So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop.
A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir :
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.
NO FEE!
*************************************
A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.
" What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.
"John ," the new guy replied.
She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling..... ....... My name is John Darling."
" Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "
*************************************
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door ( which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, " but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Screw him - - - give him a dollar ."
The blonde then blushed and said, "The breakfast was my idea "
*************************************
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife.
It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy.I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter,I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight."
- Your Husband
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this,I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Don't wait up."
*************************************
No comments:
Post a Comment